this morning the kids and i met two girls from my book club (emily & ali) and their kids at woodland mound to go the the water park. we got there a few minutes early, so brooke and gavin began playing on the playground outside the water park. emily, tom and sarah were there, too. emily and i were chatting when gavin asked me to come down and push him on the swing. i made my way down to the bottom of the playground where brooke and gavin were both on swings. i was swinging both of them as i've done so many times before. brooke asked me to swing her higher so i gave her two hard pushes and then switched and gavin gavin a big push. their swings were side by side so i could alternate my arms almost without looking. as my hand left gavin's back, i saw that he was not holding on. his arms were extended straight out, and i heard him saying "superman!" as my heart hit the floor. i yelled to him to hold on!!!! but it was too late. an instant later he fell straight back off the swing onto this head/back. just a few moments before i had been admiring the super soft synthetic bark that lined the playground, so i honestly thought that gavin would be just fine. i thought he would shake off the fall just like he always does. but he didn't. i ran the few paces to him, and he was screaming. i held him tight and tried to calm him, but he wouldn't stop crying. that's when i knew something was really wrong. i wanted so badly for my boy to be ok, but i knew he was hurt. he never cries for more than a few seconds. when i asked him where it hurt, he pointed to the back of his head. my heart dropped even further. not his head...! i asked him to try to stand, and he couldn't. he was dizzy. he immediately put his head on my shoulder and tried going to sleep. i wanted to keep him awake, so i carried him out of the sun and back up to the top of the playground under a big tree. emily was by my side, and i was doing my best to stay calm. i had gavin drink a juice box to see if some hydration would help. it didn't. i started to panic a little inside. i called gavin's pediatrician, and they told me to bring him right in. my friend ali had just arrived, and she offered to take brooke to the water park while i took gavin to the doctor. surprisingly, brooke chose to stay with my friends whom she barely knew!
i drove gavin to the doctor as safely as i could while also trying to keep him awake. i've always heard that you should not let someone with a head injury go to sleep. i was so scared and worried, and i was alone. i wasted no time. i didn't call anyone. i just drove and talked the entire way. i asked gavin what his name was and what my name was. thankfully, he answered all of my questions correctly. we quickly arrived at the doctor's, and as soon as we walked in gavin threw up all over the floor. then i really panicked. they rushed us right back to see the first doctor they could find. i still don't even know her name. gavin was really not doing well at this point. he was so pale, and he couldn't keep his eyes open. he was laying on the examining table, and i was praying silently for help. the doctor told me his reflexes were good, his pupils were dilating and there was no blood in his ears. thank you, God. i was frantically asking if he could go to sleep because i literally could not keep him awake. she said he could sleep, and that calmed me ever so slightly. she told me he likely had a concussion, and she wanted me to take him to Children's immediately for a CT Scan. i carried my sleeping baby out of the doctors office and started crying so hard. i was so overcome with emotion. i truly felt like there was a black cloud hanging over my head. like everything that could go wrong was going wrong. very, very wrong. i called kevin who thankfully was working from home that morning. i quickly told him what was happening, and i swung by the house to pick him up. i called my sister sobbing and told her what was happening as well.
when kevin and i pulled into Cincinnati Children's Gavin awakened and seemed a little bit more himself. we had to wait a little while for the CT Scan, and then they sent us home to wait on the results. we had been home maybe 30 minutes when the pediatrician called with the results. the radiologist thought there might be a very small amount of blood on the membrane adjacent to gavin's brain. as a precaution, they wanted us to take gavin to the ER and be admitted. so we did. i called ali & emily and made arrangements for heather to pick brooke up and take her for the night. we packed a bag and left for the hospital. we talked to many different doctors and nurses in the ER, and we were finally taken to a room much later than i had hoped. the doctors were optimistic that everything would be fine, but they wanted to make sure that gavin didn't have any more vomiting. once settled in our room, we fed gavin some juice and some jello. within ten minutes i could tell he was not doing so well. gavin was cuddled up with kevin in the hospital bed and looked too pale. a few minutes later he vomited. our optimism deflated. kevin and i were scared. so. very. scared.
the nurses decided to put in an IV so gavin did not get dehydrated. this was gavin's first time in the hospital and his first IV, and i wanted to wish it all away. i did not want any of this to be happening. but gavin was so brave. he didn't even cry as they poked around to find his vein. my poor boy. how had i let this happen to him? how did i not protect him? it is my job to keep him safe, and i failed.
i slept in the hospital bed with gavin, and kevin slept on the pull out chair. i held gavin close and prayed that he would be ok.
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